There are many pluses and minuses to being married to a firefighter, some are obvious, and others not so much. Some obvious pluses: Hubby always looks hot in work uniform. There are certain bragging rights that come with being married to a firefighter, because you are so proud of what he does. He is off work more days of the week than not. He always knows how to handle household emergencies and medical emergencies because that's the kind of stuff he's trained in.
There are also some benefits to the job that are not so well known. Like, they wash their work clothes at work=less laundry for me. There is one caveat to this, and that is the few days a year he trains at the fire academy but I don't mind the few times a year addition to my laundry pile. The smell of the fire and sweat totally turns me on as I envision him in that uniform. Plus, the pride swells up inside because I know he was off doing something that positively impacted the lives of youth of this country. Another bonus is that he cooks, cleans, and picks up at work; it's part of his job description. Why is this good? I KNOW he knows how to do these things and he knows it is simply not "woman's work". These men are responsible for keeping the fire station probably cleaner than most homes because it is seen as a direct reflection of the department when they get the public through. So, they mop, scrub, wipe down, disinfect, and tidy up their home away from home aka: the fire station. I often times think my husband doesn't see the clutter in our home. But, when I go to the fire station it is always so tidy and clean, and that IS the expectation. So, I know he knows what the difference is between tidy and clean. I can say, "honey, can you please help me tidy the house" and he knows exactly what I mean. And speaking of clean, my husband is the king of clean, I think much accredited to his job duties. So, thank you fire station for your cleanliness requirements, because it has instilled a clean quality in my husband which our house greatly benefits from.
Another really cool plus? Our son, who is obsessed with trucks and basically anything with big tires gets to see fire trucks up close and personal basically any time he wants. Man he loves it!
By the way, did you know firefighters spend 1/4 of their life at the station? This means that these people become like family, another less known fact about fire fighters. You gain another family in the department.
Then, there are the minuses to being married to a firefighter. The obvious ones: He is at work at least 24 hour shifts at a time. Each time he goes to work, I worry just a little bit, despite the fact that he works at a slow department. Any wife would. Anytime my husband doesn't answer his phone when he's at work, I immediately wonder if he's on a call and worry then too. Any wife would.
It can also be a minus that he has to cook dinner at the department every third shift. He rarely remembers before the morning of, and it is a real pain in the ass to come up with dinner plans for three men at 6am when you're flat on your back halfway asleep! My goal is to learn at some point to just plan ahead for him so we don't have these 6am panics. I always feel like his dinner and lunch is somehow a reflection on me, and feel like I didn't feed him or them well if his lunch and the dinner suck ass.
The not so obvious minuses of being married to a firefighter. Being a firefighter doesn't exactly pay as well as it should, considering they are willing to give their life every day to save someone elses. This means most firefighters have a second job which means they aren't really home all those "days off". This equates to hubby gone a lot. Also, added on to the 24 hour shift is commute time (like anyone else who works) but there is also the morning shift change coffee talk time. While my husband does not discuss this with me, I've learned over the years it is there. He gets off work at 7:30am and if I have not told him about some pressing reason he has to rush home, he will typically hang out at the station for about 45 minutes after his shift is over. If I call during that time, I hear all the guys chatting. Shift change coffee talk. This equates to 26 hours out of the home which often equates to me really ready for a break from the kids. But I feel that he probably needs that decompress coffee talk time too, so it's ok and I pretend like I don't know.
Being married to a firefighter inevitably means you spend holidays at the fire station and you (or the hubby) miss out on family events. I can't count on both hands how many holidays and family events my husband has missed over the years because of work. But, that is how those firefighters and their families become family. When you're spending Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or Easter together at the fire station, you become close. So, it isn't that bad. We always have a good time there. It is a family sacrifice we all make. Being married to a firefighter means being a hero in the shadows because we give up parts of our lives, for them to give theirs.
All in all, it is a good life and I am so proud to be married to a firefighter.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sometimes you just don't know
Today I managed to luck out and have both kids sleeping at the SAME time! This rarely happens. I almost always have one or the other, or both up. It was glorious the first five minutes. Then, I was like, "what the heck do I do?" Cleaning I usually can't do with them up but don't want to do when my husband is home? Sit on my duff and do nothing but FB and read because I CAN? Do I work in my garden? Napping wasn't an option since there was a kid in each of our only 2 bedrooms (as much as I really wanted to just do that).
I started off by fixing myself lunch and actually sat down to eat it. What a simple thing, sitting to eat. And yet, something this mommy just doesn't seem to get much of. I still found myself rushing through it, giving myself indigestion because I was afraid they would wake up before I could finish.
Then I moved on to updating our medical emergency sheet since our kids' medical issues seem to be ever changing. An important thing to do, but one that takes time I just don't seem to have much of these days. Half way into the editing Morgan wakes up after 45 minutes of what is usually a 3 hour nap. "He can sit and hang out in the crib a while" I think to myself as I finished what I was working on. He didn't fuss too much...just started talking and making his usual animal noises. When he began to really cry I begrudgingly went to get him.
I went from being unhappy with him to feeling like the WORST mommy in the world as I felt his REALLY wet cloth diaper. Man oh man! Did I felt guilty! Then, as I began to change his diaper I saw the man size poop! Poor little guy had woken up wet and poopy and I had let him sit there by himself for like 20 minutes in it! Bad mommy! Bad! I felt so guilty.
He does sign language and signed "milk" to me which indicated to me that he wanted a glass of milk and to go back to bed. "Well that's good" I thought, "I can have more quiet time" then immediately felt guilt again for being selfish and thinking of my needs before his. I rocked him with his milk and he snuggled as far into my arms as he could get. I think he would have crawled into my skin if he could have. I was feeling even more guilty now, getting all this love after sitting in wet poopy diaper, and me secretly wanting him back to sleep so I could have more quite time. He really layered on the guilt even further as he blew me my kisses when I laid him back down, and they kept coming all the way until I closed the door.
Well, obviously there was no freakin way for me to know why he woke up so early from his usual nap. His brother got paybacks for him though because soon after laying the older one back down, the younger one woke up. Sigh. See, I knew it was too good to be true.
At least I got a lunch break today. When you're a stay at home mom with an infant and a toddler, there are usually no such things as lunch breaks. I sure don't get to call in sick, and obviously I'm not working enough hours to earn vacation either because I rarely if ever get that. Obama, is healthcare reform going to provide any types of benefits for the position of full time exempt stay at home mom? I think I need a mental health day (or two) to recover from the constant guilt and exhaustion that wracks my brains and body.
I started off by fixing myself lunch and actually sat down to eat it. What a simple thing, sitting to eat. And yet, something this mommy just doesn't seem to get much of. I still found myself rushing through it, giving myself indigestion because I was afraid they would wake up before I could finish.
Then I moved on to updating our medical emergency sheet since our kids' medical issues seem to be ever changing. An important thing to do, but one that takes time I just don't seem to have much of these days. Half way into the editing Morgan wakes up after 45 minutes of what is usually a 3 hour nap. "He can sit and hang out in the crib a while" I think to myself as I finished what I was working on. He didn't fuss too much...just started talking and making his usual animal noises. When he began to really cry I begrudgingly went to get him.
I went from being unhappy with him to feeling like the WORST mommy in the world as I felt his REALLY wet cloth diaper. Man oh man! Did I felt guilty! Then, as I began to change his diaper I saw the man size poop! Poor little guy had woken up wet and poopy and I had let him sit there by himself for like 20 minutes in it! Bad mommy! Bad! I felt so guilty.
He does sign language and signed "milk" to me which indicated to me that he wanted a glass of milk and to go back to bed. "Well that's good" I thought, "I can have more quiet time" then immediately felt guilt again for being selfish and thinking of my needs before his. I rocked him with his milk and he snuggled as far into my arms as he could get. I think he would have crawled into my skin if he could have. I was feeling even more guilty now, getting all this love after sitting in wet poopy diaper, and me secretly wanting him back to sleep so I could have more quite time. He really layered on the guilt even further as he blew me my kisses when I laid him back down, and they kept coming all the way until I closed the door.
Well, obviously there was no freakin way for me to know why he woke up so early from his usual nap. His brother got paybacks for him though because soon after laying the older one back down, the younger one woke up. Sigh. See, I knew it was too good to be true.
At least I got a lunch break today. When you're a stay at home mom with an infant and a toddler, there are usually no such things as lunch breaks. I sure don't get to call in sick, and obviously I'm not working enough hours to earn vacation either because I rarely if ever get that. Obama, is healthcare reform going to provide any types of benefits for the position of full time exempt stay at home mom? I think I need a mental health day (or two) to recover from the constant guilt and exhaustion that wracks my brains and body.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Trying to dechemical our world, one sippy cup at a time
Holy heck! I've entered the land of hazardous materials that are going into my kids rapid fire! I've got to stop it now! Let me start at the beginning.
To help my 30 minutes of exercise fly by when I'm at the Y, treadin that treadmill on my 5.5 incline, 15 minute jog (that part is embarrassing, but whatever) I typically hit the magazine rack. I've recently discovered this wonderful magazine donated by some kind soul called, Mothering (www.mothering.com). It is a wonderful host of sound advice, and natural alternatives to everyday living with kiddos. Being the greeny I try to be, I naturally love it. I've found wonderful products by scouring the adds in the magazine, and have obtained great advice from the articles. One article in particular that I read about three weeks ago has changed my life forever. To read THE article, you can go to http://www.mothering.com/green-living/natural-selections .
This article really focused on what chemicals are harmful for humans in general, but children in particular, and even more specifically, what commonly used children products these harsh chemicals are in.
The three main chemicals the article targeted, and I'm now hypo-aware of are bisphenol A (BPA), polyvinyl chloride (PVC), and phthalates. Let me put it simply. There is staggering research that proves these chemicals have harmful effects such as cancer, negative effects on reproductive systems in males and females, such as decreased fertility rates in females, early breast development in females. Studies have even found that exposure to these chemicals can lead to negative behavior alteration in children.
One leading reason why children are so susceptible to the effects of the chemicals is that a lot of the products that are used solely for children, more specifically infants, have these products in them. Until recently, most bottles were made with BPA, PVC and phthalates. Many still are. What is more, many of the formula containers are lined with this stuff. You hear that people? That means every ounce of food babies who are formula fed have the potential to be poisoned with this stuff! If that isn't enough, these chemicals are being found in teething rings, sippy cups, bibs, baby silverware, dishware, bathing products, and more!
16 other industrialized countries such as Greece, France and Japan have banned phthalates and PVC since 2005 due to the undeniable harmful effects it has on children, and yet, it is still legal here in the US. What this tells me is that these other countries are getting it, listening to the research, and our country just doesn't get it [yet] (I hope). The FDA hasn't even come up with what they would consider a "safe" amount of BPA exposure, so there are therefore NO regulations. Bottom line: Don't buy anything that has these plastics in them because there are no regulations for them to help keep your child safe.
This can be a difficult thing to do because it all seems so confusing, and hard to know by looking at something if it has harsh chemicals in it. Well, the easiest way to determine if it's safe or not is to look at the bottom of the container if it's plastic. A basic rule of thumb is #1 (PETE or PET) #2 (HDPE), and #5 (PP) are safe. If it has a #1, #2 they are not known to leech any products that release chemicals which cause cancer or disrupts hormones. #5 is hazardous while in production but is not known to leech any chemicals that are harmful. #5 plastic isn't accepted in recycling in as many places as #1 and #2 which is a bummer.
#3, #4, #6, #7 are all BAD. Don't go near them. They all leech toxic chemicals into our foods. Last week, as I was going through as many plastics in my kitchen that I could think of, one of the biggest shockers was my pretty pink Starbucks sports water bottle that had a #7 on it. Tossed. So sad. It's not like we have disposable money to replace everything I tossed. So, we will just go with out until we slowly build back stock of what I DID toss. Which, was anything remotely unsafe for our family because I couldn't live with the guilt of feeling like I was knowingly slowly poisoning any one of us. Dramatic, I know. Just kinda how it is in my mind.
And so, I've used three great websites to help me navigate my way through all of this.
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/which-plastics-are-safe.html
This website gives detailed yet easy to understand explanations of the different numbers of plastics that you find on the bottom of all plastic products you purchase (unless it says Made in China, and for that, I have no idea how safe it is; anyone have a clue let me know..PLEASE).
www.safemama.com
This website is amazing for anyone with children. It lists items children commonly use, (sippy cups, bottles, binky, teethers, toys, shampoo, lotion, sunscreen, bugspray, forks, bowls, etc) and then brands that are BPA, PVC, and phthalate free. The website is easy to navigate through, and gives easy to read lists of safe brands for each product. There are also great links to other websites that have further reading.
http://www.thegreenguide.com/
This website has a wealth of knowledge, and for that reason can be intimidating because of the pure volume of material. The section of the website I've found most helpful for, and return to regularly is the link at the very bottom called "buying guides". In this link there are easy rules to follow about how to purchase sustainable and safe products for the entire household. Anything from paint, to cosmetics, to household cleaners. Ladies, seriously, check out the "personal care" section. What I've done is typed up easy to follow guidelines for myself and put it in a wallet size piece of paper and keep it in my wallet for whenever I'm buying stuff at the grocery store. Too much to remember all the time.
The last thing I want to share is that I've read that there are retailers out there who are beginning to commit to selling PVC and phthalate free direct-to-mouth products (such as teethers, binky, bottles) for children under age 3. Some of these retailers are Target, Sears, Wal Mart and K Mart. There are also lots of companies beginning to commit to not only eliminate BPA, but also PVC and phthalate such as Chicco, (who are most commonly known for their car seats) Sassy, Brio, Evenflo, Lego, and Gerber.
It seems virtually impossible to protect our children from all of these things all the time. But, as with most large tasks, a strong commitment and marathon approach will work wonders. I'm just beginning my marathon battle against these nasty hazardous materials! Please join me in my marathon, because as I see it, two heads are better than one, and so on.
To help my 30 minutes of exercise fly by when I'm at the Y, treadin that treadmill on my 5.5 incline, 15 minute jog (that part is embarrassing, but whatever) I typically hit the magazine rack. I've recently discovered this wonderful magazine donated by some kind soul called, Mothering (www.mothering.com). It is a wonderful host of sound advice, and natural alternatives to everyday living with kiddos. Being the greeny I try to be, I naturally love it. I've found wonderful products by scouring the adds in the magazine, and have obtained great advice from the articles. One article in particular that I read about three weeks ago has changed my life forever. To read THE article, you can go to http://www.mothering.com/
This article really focused on what chemicals are harmful for humans in general, but children in particular, and even more specifically, what commonly used children products these harsh chemicals are in.
The three main chemicals the article targeted, and I'm now hypo-aware of are bisphenol A (BPA), polyvinyl chloride (PVC), and phthalates. Let me put it simply. There is staggering research that proves these chemicals have harmful effects such as cancer, negative effects on reproductive systems in males and females, such as decreased fertility rates in females, early breast development in females. Studies have even found that exposure to these chemicals can lead to negative behavior alteration in children.
One leading reason why children are so susceptible to the effects of the chemicals is that a lot of the products that are used solely for children, more specifically infants, have these products in them. Until recently, most bottles were made with BPA, PVC and phthalates. Many still are. What is more, many of the formula containers are lined with this stuff. You hear that people? That means every ounce of food babies who are formula fed have the potential to be poisoned with this stuff! If that isn't enough, these chemicals are being found in teething rings, sippy cups, bibs, baby silverware, dishware, bathing products, and more!
16 other industrialized countries such as Greece, France and Japan have banned phthalates and PVC since 2005 due to the undeniable harmful effects it has on children, and yet, it is still legal here in the US. What this tells me is that these other countries are getting it, listening to the research, and our country just doesn't get it [yet] (I hope). The FDA hasn't even come up with what they would consider a "safe" amount of BPA exposure, so there are therefore NO regulations. Bottom line: Don't buy anything that has these plastics in them because there are no regulations for them to help keep your child safe.
This can be a difficult thing to do because it all seems so confusing, and hard to know by looking at something if it has harsh chemicals in it. Well, the easiest way to determine if it's safe or not is to look at the bottom of the container if it's plastic. A basic rule of thumb is #1 (PETE or PET) #2 (HDPE), and #5 (PP) are safe. If it has a #1, #2 they are not known to leech any products that release chemicals which cause cancer or disrupts hormones. #5 is hazardous while in production but is not known to leech any chemicals that are harmful. #5 plastic isn't accepted in recycling in as many places as #1 and #2 which is a bummer.
#3, #4, #6, #7 are all BAD. Don't go near them. They all leech toxic chemicals into our foods. Last week, as I was going through as many plastics in my kitchen that I could think of, one of the biggest shockers was my pretty pink Starbucks sports water bottle that had a #7 on it. Tossed. So sad. It's not like we have disposable money to replace everything I tossed. So, we will just go with out until we slowly build back stock of what I DID toss. Which, was anything remotely unsafe for our family because I couldn't live with the guilt of feeling like I was knowingly slowly poisoning any one of us. Dramatic, I know. Just kinda how it is in my mind.
And so, I've used three great websites to help me navigate my way through all of this.
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/which-plastics-are-safe.html
This website gives detailed yet easy to understand explanations of the different numbers of plastics that you find on the bottom of all plastic products you purchase (unless it says Made in China, and for that, I have no idea how safe it is; anyone have a clue let me know..PLEASE).
www.safemama.com
This website is amazing for anyone with children. It lists items children commonly use, (sippy cups, bottles, binky, teethers, toys, shampoo, lotion, sunscreen, bugspray, forks, bowls, etc) and then brands that are BPA, PVC, and phthalate free. The website is easy to navigate through, and gives easy to read lists of safe brands for each product. There are also great links to other websites that have further reading.
http://www.thegreenguide.com/
This website has a wealth of knowledge, and for that reason can be intimidating because of the pure volume of material. The section of the website I've found most helpful for, and return to regularly is the link at the very bottom called "buying guides". In this link there are easy rules to follow about how to purchase sustainable and safe products for the entire household. Anything from paint, to cosmetics, to household cleaners. Ladies, seriously, check out the "personal care" section. What I've done is typed up easy to follow guidelines for myself and put it in a wallet size piece of paper and keep it in my wallet for whenever I'm buying stuff at the grocery store. Too much to remember all the time.
The last thing I want to share is that I've read that there are retailers out there who are beginning to commit to selling PVC and phthalate free direct-to-mouth products (such as teethers, binky, bottles) for children under age 3. Some of these retailers are Target, Sears, Wal Mart and K Mart. There are also lots of companies beginning to commit to not only eliminate BPA, but also PVC and phthalate such as Chicco, (who are most commonly known for their car seats) Sassy, Brio, Evenflo, Lego, and Gerber.
It seems virtually impossible to protect our children from all of these things all the time. But, as with most large tasks, a strong commitment and marathon approach will work wonders. I'm just beginning my marathon battle against these nasty hazardous materials! Please join me in my marathon, because as I see it, two heads are better than one, and so on.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The joys of siblings
When my youngest was born, my oldest was only 12 months. Certainly not old enough to have any real outrage towards his new sibling taking over some of the attention; at least I didn't think so. I think having that formed opinion that things WOULD go well has payed off, to be honest. We were asked many a time, "SO.... (I could hear the cackle in their heads) how has Morgan (the oldest) adjusted to a new brother?" and we were always happy to reply, "great!". He really has done great! We've made every effort, very intentionally, to refrain from correcting any negative behavior he does exhibit towards his brother, in a negative way. So if he's being rough (read hitting) we will say, "Morgan, use gentle touches on Landon (the youngest)" instead of just saying, "no, don't hit". Then, we'd show him HOW to touch him gently. Not that I'm against the -n- word, I think you HAVE to use it sometimes. But I also believe the less we associated anything negative with his brother, the better off things would go.
We're now 5 months into it. Things are going so well! Morgan dotes on Landon. He brings him toys, snuggles his head in his lap, ask for him in the mornings if he's not in his crib (they share a room and it looks like I have twins because we have two cribs in there) and he reaches for him when we're holding him. If Landon is laying down on the ground, Morgan will more often than not join him. If Landon is in the Johny Jump Up, Morgan will stand by him for 20 minutes straight just patting his head. How is that for attention span for a 17 month old! All for the L-O-V-E of Landon. The latest skill Morgan has learned is how to blow kisses and who do you think gets the majority of blown kisses? Why Landon of course.
This is not to say my child is perfect. Of course we always have to monitor them together, and step in from time to time when Morgan is being too rough. Like yesterday morning when Morgan tried to sit on Landon and ride him like his rocking horse while saying, "neigh Lada, neigh". Lada is what Morgan has taken to calling Landon, and has fondly became his family nick name as well.
At any rate. Morgan is teaching me that I may have more control over my child's sibling rivalry than I'd thought. Morgan has taught me how important it is to always demonstrate what I expect of my children. And damn it, that even means I have to stop swearing (yes, you can laugh Kristen!). Mostly, Morgan and Landon have already shown me that having them so close together is something they're really enjoying, which gives me great pleasure and satisfaction as a parent.
I reserve the right to eat my own words as they get older, by the way! But am hoping I don't have to.
We're now 5 months into it. Things are going so well! Morgan dotes on Landon. He brings him toys, snuggles his head in his lap, ask for him in the mornings if he's not in his crib (they share a room and it looks like I have twins because we have two cribs in there) and he reaches for him when we're holding him. If Landon is laying down on the ground, Morgan will more often than not join him. If Landon is in the Johny Jump Up, Morgan will stand by him for 20 minutes straight just patting his head. How is that for attention span for a 17 month old! All for the L-O-V-E of Landon. The latest skill Morgan has learned is how to blow kisses and who do you think gets the majority of blown kisses? Why Landon of course.
This is not to say my child is perfect. Of course we always have to monitor them together, and step in from time to time when Morgan is being too rough. Like yesterday morning when Morgan tried to sit on Landon and ride him like his rocking horse while saying, "neigh Lada, neigh". Lada is what Morgan has taken to calling Landon, and has fondly became his family nick name as well.
At any rate. Morgan is teaching me that I may have more control over my child's sibling rivalry than I'd thought. Morgan has taught me how important it is to always demonstrate what I expect of my children. And damn it, that even means I have to stop swearing (yes, you can laugh Kristen!). Mostly, Morgan and Landon have already shown me that having them so close together is something they're really enjoying, which gives me great pleasure and satisfaction as a parent.
I reserve the right to eat my own words as they get older, by the way! But am hoping I don't have to.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Time Away IS a Good Thing
I've recently had some long awaited time away from my kids. Way too long awaited, and looking back, I set myself up for for how long it took.
Sure, I've got an hour here and there to do things like go take care of my horse, run to the grocery store, go to a hot yoga class, or go to the YMCA to work out. But, because I always feel guilty for ever asking whoever agrees to watch them (usually my mom when it's that short) I'm always rushed to get back home, and there is not a leisure, casual enjoyment about it. Because I always feel guilty for asking anyone to ever watch my kids, I also tend to underestimate how long they will be watching them, always hoping I'll be back sooner for their sake. Hense the rushing back part. I honestly don't know why I do this, because it's not like my kids are terrors or anything. And, people always have the option to say no if I ask. I guess it just goes back to that guilt thing for asking.
Plus, from September til the beginning of February we were making weekly trips down to Children's Hospital for both children. Both of our children have had some pretty serious chronic medical conditions that has required close medical monitoring. It was not uncommon for us to have several appointments in one week on different days. Of course, this required us to ask people pretty regularly to watch one or the other of the kids when one would have to do appointments where the other couldn't be there, like for radiation (which unfortunately both of them had to do quite a bit as a diagnostic tool). So, when we were asking folks (those few we trusted) to watch the kids so much already, I felt pretty bad asking them to watch the kids any more just for my sanity sake. Looking back, I really should have and don't know how I survived that time of our lives; it was so aweful and stressful.
Another reason I didn't make it out before now: Most people have this impression that because my husband is a firefighter and has a schedule of two to three 24 hour shifts a week, he's home all the rest of the week and is just chillaxin at home with me and the kids. NOT the case. We typically get a half a day a week where we're all there at the same time. What most people don't know is he has 2 other jobs that keep him gone long hours, and most days he's "home" from the fire department he's out at those jobs fixing fire trucks and ambulances. It's the price we've chosen to pay for me to be able to stay home. So, this false impression I think led many people to believing that I didn't need help.
Nursing the little one has also made leaving the house a challenge for me. I''ve always worried that he'd suddenly starve if I was gone too long, and was extremely hesitant to move to bottles at all, in fear that he'd begin reject nursing in favor of bottles.
Well, three weeks ago all excuses were forced aside and I pulled some long ass 12 hour days away from home. Low-and-behold, he took the bottles (and my boob that night) just fine. I'd worried that I would miss them so much my heart would burst and low-and-behold, I did just fine. I did better than fine. I really, really, enjoyed it! I found myself more patient and engaged with them when I got home those evenings! I'd also worried that my husband would not do well having both of them alone that long since he hadn't done it before. Low-and-behold, he did just fine as well! Shocking! Not to discredit his abilities, he's an excellent hands on dad. He'd just been playing it off until then that 2 was too much for him, I think just to avoid the stress of it. At any rate. Lessons learned:
1.) Do not feel sorry for asking for help; people CAN say no
2.) Schedule the time away regularly; they will survive with out me
3.) My own sanity benefits from the separation
4.) I look at them with fresh eyes when I return
5.) Landon (the little one) will take a bottle, and still loves the boob!!
6.) If anything, over-estimate the time I'll be gone, so I can relax and enjoy it, even if it's doing
simple things like grocery shopping
7.) My husband does just as good a job with 2 as he does with 1 and even if he doesn't do it
MY way, he still does it well (note to self: let go control freak)
8.) Time away IS a good thing
Sure, I've got an hour here and there to do things like go take care of my horse, run to the grocery store, go to a hot yoga class, or go to the YMCA to work out. But, because I always feel guilty for ever asking whoever agrees to watch them (usually my mom when it's that short) I'm always rushed to get back home, and there is not a leisure, casual enjoyment about it. Because I always feel guilty for asking anyone to ever watch my kids, I also tend to underestimate how long they will be watching them, always hoping I'll be back sooner for their sake. Hense the rushing back part. I honestly don't know why I do this, because it's not like my kids are terrors or anything. And, people always have the option to say no if I ask. I guess it just goes back to that guilt thing for asking.
Plus, from September til the beginning of February we were making weekly trips down to Children's Hospital for both children. Both of our children have had some pretty serious chronic medical conditions that has required close medical monitoring. It was not uncommon for us to have several appointments in one week on different days. Of course, this required us to ask people pretty regularly to watch one or the other of the kids when one would have to do appointments where the other couldn't be there, like for radiation (which unfortunately both of them had to do quite a bit as a diagnostic tool). So, when we were asking folks (those few we trusted) to watch the kids so much already, I felt pretty bad asking them to watch the kids any more just for my sanity sake. Looking back, I really should have and don't know how I survived that time of our lives; it was so aweful and stressful.
Another reason I didn't make it out before now: Most people have this impression that because my husband is a firefighter and has a schedule of two to three 24 hour shifts a week, he's home all the rest of the week and is just chillaxin at home with me and the kids. NOT the case. We typically get a half a day a week where we're all there at the same time. What most people don't know is he has 2 other jobs that keep him gone long hours, and most days he's "home" from the fire department he's out at those jobs fixing fire trucks and ambulances. It's the price we've chosen to pay for me to be able to stay home. So, this false impression I think led many people to believing that I didn't need help.
Nursing the little one has also made leaving the house a challenge for me. I''ve always worried that he'd suddenly starve if I was gone too long, and was extremely hesitant to move to bottles at all, in fear that he'd begin reject nursing in favor of bottles.
Well, three weeks ago all excuses were forced aside and I pulled some long ass 12 hour days away from home. Low-and-behold, he took the bottles (and my boob that night) just fine. I'd worried that I would miss them so much my heart would burst and low-and-behold, I did just fine. I did better than fine. I really, really, enjoyed it! I found myself more patient and engaged with them when I got home those evenings! I'd also worried that my husband would not do well having both of them alone that long since he hadn't done it before. Low-and-behold, he did just fine as well! Shocking! Not to discredit his abilities, he's an excellent hands on dad. He'd just been playing it off until then that 2 was too much for him, I think just to avoid the stress of it. At any rate. Lessons learned:
1.) Do not feel sorry for asking for help; people CAN say no
2.) Schedule the time away regularly; they will survive with out me
3.) My own sanity benefits from the separation
4.) I look at them with fresh eyes when I return
5.) Landon (the little one) will take a bottle, and still loves the boob!!
6.) If anything, over-estimate the time I'll be gone, so I can relax and enjoy it, even if it's doing
simple things like grocery shopping
7.) My husband does just as good a job with 2 as he does with 1 and even if he doesn't do it
MY way, he still does it well (note to self: let go control freak)
8.) Time away IS a good thing
Sunday, February 21, 2010
WAY cheap, easy make at home laundry detergent!
Since we've went cloth (see 2/20/10 post) and just since we've had two kids in general, laundry loads have nearly doubled in this house. Knowing that biodegradable laundry soap was what was best for the environment, that's what we were using for probably the past several years, even before kiddos. That was until my husband went to the store while I was recovering from a c-section (the only reason he'd go instead of me, he despises it THAT much). He got Tide, I suppose because that's what he always had before he married a greeny like me. There was a marked difference in the clothes and it could not be denied that the greeny brand just sucked ass.
But, that big orange Tide box was sooo expensive! I couldn't believe it, and at the rate we were going through it, we could be paying on another car practically! But I justified it because I kinda, well, really DID want our clothes actually clean. And, to justify getting non-biodegradable laundry detergent we bought front load energy star washer and dryer which was saving electricity, gas, water, and in effect money. It seemed to equal itself out in my mind.
By chance, during Christmas time when I was looking for recipes for home made apple butter, I came across a recipe for home made laundry detergent. Man oh man! Can I tell YOU how leery my husband was. He must have warned me a million times that IF our laundry didn't come out as clean as it was on Tide, we were going back immediately! Well, we've been on the home made laundry detergent for a month now, and I've heard no complaints. And, can I tell YOU how easy, and cheap it is to make this stuff! Not only that, but they make our clothes clean, and our cloth diapers with out leaving any icky residue. I can't imagine many other things besides daily poopy diapers to test the efficiency of a detergent.
Washer Machine Detergent---diaper tested, daddy approved!
1 cup grated soap (such as fels naptha or Ivory)
½ cup Borax
½ cup Arm & Hammer washing soap
Can add essential oils for scent
Mix well (I store it and mix in a large glass container with a lid)
2 Tablespoons per load of laundry
The fels naptha and washing soap can be found in the laundry detergent section at most grocery stores, and I've even seen it at Bartell Drugs.
Hope it works for y'all! Let me know how ya like it!
But, that big orange Tide box was sooo expensive! I couldn't believe it, and at the rate we were going through it, we could be paying on another car practically! But I justified it because I kinda, well, really DID want our clothes actually clean. And, to justify getting non-biodegradable laundry detergent we bought front load energy star washer and dryer which was saving electricity, gas, water, and in effect money. It seemed to equal itself out in my mind.
By chance, during Christmas time when I was looking for recipes for home made apple butter, I came across a recipe for home made laundry detergent. Man oh man! Can I tell YOU how leery my husband was. He must have warned me a million times that IF our laundry didn't come out as clean as it was on Tide, we were going back immediately! Well, we've been on the home made laundry detergent for a month now, and I've heard no complaints. And, can I tell YOU how easy, and cheap it is to make this stuff! Not only that, but they make our clothes clean, and our cloth diapers with out leaving any icky residue. I can't imagine many other things besides daily poopy diapers to test the efficiency of a detergent.
Washer Machine Detergent---diaper tested, daddy approved!
1 cup grated soap (such as fels naptha or Ivory)
½ cup Borax
½ cup Arm & Hammer washing soap
Can add essential oils for scent
Mix well (I store it and mix in a large glass container with a lid)
2 Tablespoons per load of laundry
The fels naptha and washing soap can be found in the laundry detergent section at most grocery stores, and I've even seen it at Bartell Drugs.
Hope it works for y'all! Let me know how ya like it!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Cloth Diapers for this family
Having two children who are 12 months (and 10 days) apart means I basically have two babies. Well, actually, they are often referred to as, "Irish twins". This also means double diapers, which means double expense! After a month and a half of paying over $300 a month in diapers, I knew there had to be a better, more cost effective way. We weren't even fitting all the diapers in our weekly garbage pick up! THAT was embarrassing, knowing that Americans produce more garbage than any other country in the world. I was becoming more of a contributor to this problem than I cared to! So, after much research and preparation, we went cloth.
This took a lot of finesse with my husband. I'd suggested we try it with our first son, but I never got him really on board. He thought it was too much work, very icky, and inconvenient. By our second child, he was immune to the stank of poop ass, was used to baby bodily fluids spilling onto him, and had realized that children in general were inconvenient. As I started to throw the idea around out loud after our second, he softened up a bit, then when I told him how much we (he) was spending a month on diapers, and how much we'd save on cloth, he was SOLD.
I'd already decided on using a brand called, gdiapers (www.gdiaper.com OR www.diapers.com) for two reasons. One, they could be purchased locally at Fred Meyer. Two, we could use cloth or a disposable insert. The disposable insert sounded more user friendly for traveling outside the home, because it meant not having to pack around wet used diapers. Plus, the disposable inserts can be flushed down the toilet, which is convenient for almost anywhere you are!
For our trial period, we started out with 6 diapers for both kids, and 6 inserts. Not enough. We now have 8 diapers, and 12 inserts and that usually gets us through an entire day for both kids.
(I would also recommend buying gender neutral colors for the diapers if you plan on having more children so that the diapers can be handed down between all children.) We typically wash the diapers and inserts once a day and it has just become part of our nightly routine, like brushing teeth. For the trial period, I intentionally waited until we were almost out of disposable diapers in the house. I knew if they were around, my husband would be too tempted to go the easy way (disposable) instead of cloth (they really aren't any harder once you get the hang of things). It took me less than a week to realize that cloth was definitely the way to go for us, and we were committed for the long haul. I felt good about knowing how much less impact I was having on our land fills, I liked spending that much less a month on diapers, and I think there is just nothing cuter than a baby in a bright colorful cloth diaper! I will say though, that we do disposable diapers at night lined with one of the disposable gdiapers inserts because the cloth ones always leaked through over night. So, we now end up buying one large pack of disposable diapers a month at diapers.com for $32.99 for night time diapering, and use the cloth diapers for all day time diapering. That saves us a whopping $267 a month on diapers alone!! And, once we were regularly doing the cloth diapers, I realized, why not go all the way and do cloth wipes as well.
For those, I was at a loss on what to do so asked a friend who'd also been cloth diapering. She turned me onto diaper lotion potion (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=703) which is AMAZING stuff! It can be used two ways; either as a spray directly onto the bum then wiped with cloth wipes, OR, you can use it as a liquid to soak your wipes in while storing them in a wipes warmer. Each to their own. We use the spray and wipe with a dry wipe. I can say that this stuff is wonderful for keeping the skin well hydrated, and it smells nice too! As far as I can tell, one bottle will most likely last us at least a year which makes it super cost effective. It also has all natural ingredients. Whatever stuff was in the disposable wipes had made the skin on all of my fingers begin to peel off (seriously) and since we've switched to the cloth wipes and the diaper lotion potion, my fingers are all better! Extra bonus. For those of you who want to do the wipes warmer, most any Prince Lionheart warmer will work (http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Warmies-Bamboo-Warmer/dp/B001QIN6ME/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1266792260&sr=8-2) as long as you have the Prince Lionheart wipes warmerever fresh sponge in it (http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Warmies-Bamboo-Warmer/dp/B001QIN6ME/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1266792260&sr=8-2). There is a warmer that is made just for cloth wipes, but I've tried it with a disposable wipes warmer and it worked fine.
What cloth wipes to use? I think that is a matter of personal preference. In the beginning I felt really compelled to use wipes that were "meant" for the purpose of cloth diapering so started off with bumgenious flannel wipes (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=110&products_id=104) which were again, recommended by a friend. While we waited for them to come in the mail I began using our regular ole baby washclothes, and in the end I think they both work equally well. Before switching to the cloth wipes, we were going through two boxes of Kirkland Signature wipes at $60 a month. We still use disposable wipes when we're out of the house, but now only spend $30 every other month. That's approximately $45 a month savings! So, in total, we now save $312 a month!
One last thing that is handy to have when cloth diapering are these things called wet bags (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=1769). These are just glorified bags that can be used to store wet diapers in when out in public. They come in lots of CUTE differen patterns, and three different sizes. I've found the small to work fine for me. We had been using the plastic bags you get from the grocery store that are used to put selected fruits and vegetables in. These worked ok, but tore easily, sometimes came un wound, and, I wasn't comfortable with justifying using those bags at the grocery store when they really aren't needed. The wet bags zip up, can be thrown in the wash, and work great for storing wet diapers, and any dirty clothes too. We just keep our wet bag in our diaper bag all the time now.
Cloth diapering has a lot of up front cost, and there is a learning curve. But, in the end, I would say it is well worth it. Some studies show that cloth diapers lead to earlier potty training. I can say that my 17 month old is already holding it through 3 hour naps, and wakes up dry. Whether or not that is due to cloth diapers, I truely can't say and only time will tell when he's ready to actually be potty trained.
This took a lot of finesse with my husband. I'd suggested we try it with our first son, but I never got him really on board. He thought it was too much work, very icky, and inconvenient. By our second child, he was immune to the stank of poop ass, was used to baby bodily fluids spilling onto him, and had realized that children in general were inconvenient. As I started to throw the idea around out loud after our second, he softened up a bit, then when I told him how much we (he) was spending a month on diapers, and how much we'd save on cloth, he was SOLD.
I'd already decided on using a brand called, gdiapers (www.gdiaper.com OR www.diapers.com) for two reasons. One, they could be purchased locally at Fred Meyer. Two, we could use cloth or a disposable insert. The disposable insert sounded more user friendly for traveling outside the home, because it meant not having to pack around wet used diapers. Plus, the disposable inserts can be flushed down the toilet, which is convenient for almost anywhere you are!
For our trial period, we started out with 6 diapers for both kids, and 6 inserts. Not enough. We now have 8 diapers, and 12 inserts and that usually gets us through an entire day for both kids.
(I would also recommend buying gender neutral colors for the diapers if you plan on having more children so that the diapers can be handed down between all children.) We typically wash the diapers and inserts once a day and it has just become part of our nightly routine, like brushing teeth. For the trial period, I intentionally waited until we were almost out of disposable diapers in the house. I knew if they were around, my husband would be too tempted to go the easy way (disposable) instead of cloth (they really aren't any harder once you get the hang of things). It took me less than a week to realize that cloth was definitely the way to go for us, and we were committed for the long haul. I felt good about knowing how much less impact I was having on our land fills, I liked spending that much less a month on diapers, and I think there is just nothing cuter than a baby in a bright colorful cloth diaper! I will say though, that we do disposable diapers at night lined with one of the disposable gdiapers inserts because the cloth ones always leaked through over night. So, we now end up buying one large pack of disposable diapers a month at diapers.com for $32.99 for night time diapering, and use the cloth diapers for all day time diapering. That saves us a whopping $267 a month on diapers alone!! And, once we were regularly doing the cloth diapers, I realized, why not go all the way and do cloth wipes as well.
For those, I was at a loss on what to do so asked a friend who'd also been cloth diapering. She turned me onto diaper lotion potion (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=703) which is AMAZING stuff! It can be used two ways; either as a spray directly onto the bum then wiped with cloth wipes, OR, you can use it as a liquid to soak your wipes in while storing them in a wipes warmer. Each to their own. We use the spray and wipe with a dry wipe. I can say that this stuff is wonderful for keeping the skin well hydrated, and it smells nice too! As far as I can tell, one bottle will most likely last us at least a year which makes it super cost effective. It also has all natural ingredients. Whatever stuff was in the disposable wipes had made the skin on all of my fingers begin to peel off (seriously) and since we've switched to the cloth wipes and the diaper lotion potion, my fingers are all better! Extra bonus. For those of you who want to do the wipes warmer, most any Prince Lionheart warmer will work (http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Warmies-Bamboo-Warmer/dp/B001QIN6ME/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1266792260&sr=8-2) as long as you have the Prince Lionheart wipes warmerever fresh sponge in it (http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Warmies-Bamboo-Warmer/dp/B001QIN6ME/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1266792260&sr=8-2). There is a warmer that is made just for cloth wipes, but I've tried it with a disposable wipes warmer and it worked fine.
What cloth wipes to use? I think that is a matter of personal preference. In the beginning I felt really compelled to use wipes that were "meant" for the purpose of cloth diapering so started off with bumgenious flannel wipes (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=110&products_id=104) which were again, recommended by a friend. While we waited for them to come in the mail I began using our regular ole baby washclothes, and in the end I think they both work equally well. Before switching to the cloth wipes, we were going through two boxes of Kirkland Signature wipes at $60 a month. We still use disposable wipes when we're out of the house, but now only spend $30 every other month. That's approximately $45 a month savings! So, in total, we now save $312 a month!
One last thing that is handy to have when cloth diapering are these things called wet bags (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=1769). These are just glorified bags that can be used to store wet diapers in when out in public. They come in lots of CUTE differen patterns, and three different sizes. I've found the small to work fine for me. We had been using the plastic bags you get from the grocery store that are used to put selected fruits and vegetables in. These worked ok, but tore easily, sometimes came un wound, and, I wasn't comfortable with justifying using those bags at the grocery store when they really aren't needed. The wet bags zip up, can be thrown in the wash, and work great for storing wet diapers, and any dirty clothes too. We just keep our wet bag in our diaper bag all the time now.
Cloth diapering has a lot of up front cost, and there is a learning curve. But, in the end, I would say it is well worth it. Some studies show that cloth diapers lead to earlier potty training. I can say that my 17 month old is already holding it through 3 hour naps, and wakes up dry. Whether or not that is due to cloth diapers, I truely can't say and only time will tell when he's ready to actually be potty trained.
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